A review by WARD skater Bubblin’ Squeaks:
A long time ago (well, last weekend), in a galaxy far, far away (Midvale, to be precise), the WA Roller Derby skaters returned to the Speed Dome, with the Electric Screams looking to snatch victory from the clutches of the undefeated Sonic Doom. Return of the Jammer was the last bout of the season for the fearless WARD skaters, and with spirits running high after the league’s recent success over the Perth Roller Derby Rumble Bees, there was no doubt that the night would be a no-holds-barred, intergalactic battle.
With supporters of both sides gathered and ready, the light-sabres were drawn, and the Screams and Dooms prepared to unleash the force in explosive fashion, with Screams’ Hot Wheels and Doom’s Femme Ferox going head-to-head in the first jam of the night. Right from the start it was clear that both teams had brought their A game and sadly Doomer favourite Taye Q. Down was wiped out by rebel Scream forces within the first minute of play. After a nail-biting break, the ever-ready Taye was back on her feet, although Doom’s confidence appeared to be knocked as Electric Screams came out on top, taking the lead 6-4 after the first jam. Could this be Screams’ night?
Lightening quick play dominated the night, with Serenity Pow jamming for the Dooms as if her life depended on it, some furious blocking from both teams, and Screams’ Whisky Sour sending Karmen Adairya down. In typical Doom style Karmen shrugged off the smackdown and got straight back onto the track. Halfway through the first half Sonic Doom were powering ahead 38-18. Electric Screams’ grit and determination, which we have seen all year, was apparent but Dooms countered every badass attack with moves of their own. Towards the back end of the first half, Sonic Doom jammer Modern Warfare was banished to the penalty box, leaving Screams’ uber-jammer Hot Wheels capturing as many points as her shiny silver booty could manage.
Approaching the half-time whistle, both teams started to use more tactical plays. As well as the fast and hard jams WARD feels familiar with, there was a bit of slow derby, keeping each other, and the screaming fans, on their toes. Despite best efforts from Screams’ stars Steely Niel and Madamage, the score at half time stood at 60-40 to Sonic Doom.
The second half was faster than a TIE fighter, with just as many twists and turns, skaters flying all over the track, and multiple visits to the penalty box from each team, showing that neither was willing to go down without a fight. Doom’s Neon D’Fleur was thrown in the sin bin for a low block on Damanda Respect and Screams’ Face N Vada whizzed into the penalty box, wiping out the bench with her. At one point both jammers fought so hard for points that they were both taken out of play, with Hot Wheels and Dotty given time out simultaneously.
Pressure was put on Sonic Doom by blockers I Scream, Whisky Sour, and Slam Krunk, but ultimately the force with the Doom was too strong, and the black and blue army screeched through to the end with a winning score of 135 to Electric Screams’ 96. But what’s this? Sonic Doom’s jedi warrior Karmen Adairya was caught under an almighty pile-up right at the final whistle. Although in pain, Karmen managed to soldier on for the end of season presentation and, supported by her team-mates, was willing to partake in both after party and after after party extravagance.
What does this mean for our fearless teams? After a gruelling season, we’ve seen no small amount of blood, sweat, and tears, along with plenty of joy and pain. What comes next? Will Electric Screams return next season to claim a long-awaited victory? Will Sonic Doom’s dominance continue? Who is the real Darth Vida? Find out all this and more in THE NEXT EPISODE…
TO BE CONTINUED IN 2012